headnoize: the dog barking

Stupid dog...anyways...

Welp, I said I'd tell you about the really funny game from this weekend...Post Dave's Holloween party...which was a riot unto itself...Bryan ran a "Space Pirates" game...and playing were Dave, his g/f Melody, Nysos, Tom, Ethan, Dave's friend Dan (no 92 Olympics jokes!) and myself...and all night I'd been trying to think of concepts to try and put together to team up with someone to spew a massive amount of jokes for whatever game we were going to play, because I was in the mood to have a lot of fun and joke around the whole night...and originally I was going to team up with Bryan...but then Bryan decided to run the game and I had to find someone else...and Tom ended up joining in...and said he was going to be an Arab elf...and it clicked...so I dragged Tom aside and said, "Hey man, I've got a really funny idea...you're going to be an Arab, right?" and Tom was like, yeah, and I said, "Alright, wanna team up and run a really crazy oddities business and sell all kinds of crazy shit and slaves and shit?" and Tom just started laughing and was like "Shit yeah, that sounds funny" and I was like, "Hell yeah, and I'll be a dwarf, and you can be an arab and we'll sell all kinds of crazy shit, and you can do the talking and I can make with the clang and smack people around" and so Tom and I teamed up and formed a sales team the likes of which have never been seen on Valhalla and we had our own trading company "Achmed and Jimbo's Marvelous Extravaganza of Wondrous Oddities" (ooooh, doesn't that just reek of important wordiness!) and man did we have some weird shit that we sold...

We start the game off on a ship and Jimbo (me) and Achmed (Tom) are doing inventory (because Tom had to go to 7-11 to get coffee) and the other people decide to attack this freight ship we found on the radar (or well, the space pirates equivalent) and they end up having badass little tiefighter bullshit and kick our ship's ass...and we crash on this planet...and the only thing that survived of our shop's cargo was "Squiddy" our Three-Toed Squid...so I start carrying around Squiddy...and we find these weird rock things around the ship that are like eating it...so Achmed and Jimbo go to talk to the rock things to try and sell them the ship so we can buy a new one...and Ethan's character (who has since become the captain, since he killed the old captain to put him out of his misery) is trying to stop us (the bastard)...and ends up attacking them after one of them become interested in Achmed's crazy translator and tries to eat it...so they're all charging the ship...and everyone's busy getting ready for the big fight about to stay and Jimbo just puts his arms in the air, and a couple of people are laughing at me at this point...and people are talking about things they want to shoot and whatnot and Jimbo yells "AYE! SQUIDDY! PUT YE BLOODY ARMS UP!" and so Squiddy puts two of it's three arms up in the air and holds on to Jimbo's back, and people are laughing at me...and Achmed climbs up a tree (hey, he's an elf)...and in the end they all run away when Ethan pulls out the former captain's scythe (dubbed at this point "The Captain's Stick")...

so we eventually run away because the ship's reactor is going to blow up...so we're all hauling ass...and it blows up, and get to this cliff, and no one can think of anything to to, so Achmed jumps off, and Jimbo goes, "ACHMED! NOOOOO!" and jumps off the cliff after him...and then most of the other people join in after they realize there's a big river down there and they're not safe up there...

so eventually we find this crazy guy down there to leads us to this ship he supposedly used to get to the planet...and we go to fix it up to get the hell off of the planet...and Jimbo starts going through the cargo seeing what's worth selling and trying to rebuild the business' inventory...and there are a bunch of gassy people (made of gas, not the farting variety) in crates down there...and so I bother to check the cargo manifold to see where they were picked up from...and they were picked up on the planet we were currently on...which was fishy...so I check the roster for the guy we talked to...which his name was on, but it wasn't him...and his picture wasn't anywhere to be found...and they had only been on the planet for 36 days...so I get Achmed's attention and tell him all about it...and then I tell him to go tell the Lizard Pimp (Nysos' character, he was a big lizard-man...who happened to be a pimp...though he lacked a stable at the moment)...and I told the captain (Ethan)...and well...while I was talking to Ethan...Achmed, the Lizard Pimp and Dave's character decide to kill the guy and stuff his body into a trash can...and then we find out the ship is haunted and wants us to take it to Saturn...and eventually, we agree so long as we can stop by a space station to get supplies...and the ghost agrees...

So we get to the Space Station and all get off the ship...and we decide to sell the ship and buy a ship of our own, since the ghost was such an asshole...which is a job for none-other than Achmed and Jimbo...but beforehand, Lizard Pimp had set up some C-4 on the ship and gave the remote detonator to Dave's character...and while Dave, Achmed and Jimbo ran around trying to find a buyer, everyone else went to look for work or a new ship...we finally found a potential mark and the conversation went a little like this...

Jimbo: Right, well, we got a mighty fine ship 'ere...so how about 1.5 mill
The Mark: Hrm...it is a nice ship...how about 1.2 mill
Jimbo: Come on, it's got really big guns, which is what a good ship is all about...
The Mark: Hrm...that is true...
Jimbo: so how about 1.35?
The Mark: How about 1.2?
Jimbo: How about 1.3?
The Mark: 1.2, I mean, there's a big hunk of metal on the front of it like it'd just been welded on there
(both of the following lines were said at the exact same time)
Jimbo: Well, it was
Achmed: 1.2 is good.

And all that was left was to get the title of the ship...so Jimbo goes into the ship to get it...and goes into the Captain's Cabin and starts rummaging through things...and the ghost appears and says, "What are you doing?" and I pulled what was quite possibly the best excuse I've ever thought of out of my ass without batting an eye, "Right, well you see this security guy wants to see the title and registration of the ship, or 'e's goin' ta kick us off the station and we aren't going to be able to buy anything." and the ghost-thing says, "right over there in the second drawer" and I grab it and I'm looking through the paperwork and I say "Is this all of it?" and the ghost-thing says, "Yep" and so I take it out to the guy and hand it to him...and he walks into the ship, and Achmed and Jimbo haul ass...and after a couple of minutes the guy comes screaming out of the ship, and Dave uses the remote detonator and blows the shit up...and that was the end of the game...

For those of you that are like "Man, that was a lame blog" fuck off, you should have been there, that was some funny shit. For those of you who enjoyed it...I'm glad you did...anyways, it's time for me to go figure out what's up with Andrea and get to having some fun tonight...<wave>

- Posted 22:49 by Mabelrode